A Note From the Editor

You might be wondering why Westchester County needs a satire magazine. To that, I say that I am after the noblest pursuit; another line on the college application. As a Westchester kid, you probably understand this well, so you might ask, instead, what exactly is there to satirize in Westchester county, a place where the biggest scandal is a country club suspension or a switch from private to public school? To that, I say, the question is already answered. There is one thing that unites nearly every resident of Westchester, from sleepy hollow to rye. Being rich.

So what is there to say about being rich? It’s a hard topic to approach. Whenever financial status comes up, rich people tend to fall into a confusing freeze. How do we identify ourselves? We could come out and SAY we’re rich, but then people will think we’re spoiled, arrogant assholes. Alright, so keep it humble— say we’re “comfortable” or “have enough.” Whoops— big no. The moment you turn your back, those less fortunate people are rolling their eyes and making fake throw up noises. Okay, new plan; just lie and say you’re not. Big reward, but bigger risk. The second someone sniffs out your million-dollar secret, it’s a disaster. Sure, there’s a chance of blackmail or thievery, but the real consequence is appearing as a massive douche. Oh, many are the problems the one percenters face.

So what do we do? What’s the solution? you may ask. Well, there’s only one. Make them laugh. And how to do that? There’s no easy answer, no hour long info session to watch over zoom. There's one way to become funny, as a rich person, and that’s to become extremely self aware. And to do that, you just have to read [en]titled. So if I made you laugh— or do the mental equivalent— stick around, maybe we’ll do it again. And if not— well, stick around anyway. I’m about the least funny person here.