SatireSeptember 2026

All The Notifications You Get When You Leave the House

G-d forbid you don't bring everything I've ever owned.

September 30, 2026 · Big Tech

Life 360: you have arrived home (when you pull out of garage)

Life 360: you have left home (when you pull out of driveway)

Find my: laptop left behind at 1 house road

Find my: headphones left behind at 1 house road

Find my: positive attitude left behind at 1 house road

Mom: saw on life 360 you just got home, can you…

Mom: never mind

PeriodTracker+: don’t get pregnant